Thursday, January 10, 2008

Oh Brother!

I realize that I have never talked about my brother much. I don't know why this is other than sometimes it still hurts to talk about him. He has been gone for 12 years now and that feels like a lifetime. He has been on my mind a lot lately. Therefore, I thought I would share a few stories about him that stand out in my mind.

He was a really funny kid. That was super skinny and all legs and arms. We would fight all the time and really enjoyed fighting probably like most siblings. We were opposites in that I was a little butter ball. I probably weighed more than him for most of our lives. Anyway, one day out in our little 3 foot pool he was splashing me. There is one thing that I really can't stand and that is someone splashing me in the face. I told him not once but 3 times to STOP SPLASHING MY FACE!!! Did he stop, oh no! So after telling him the third time when he did it again I went and grabbed him and shoved him under the water. My Dad was in the pool with us and was oblivious that his daughter was about to drown his son! My brother was struggling and I was relentless. My mother start yelling at my father to get me off him and I of course let him go. I don't think I would have drowned him I was just a child but I wanted to make sure he understood not to splash me in the face again. I don't think he ever did!

There was another time when he decided he was going to fix something while we were home alone. I can't remember what it was but he put a pot of water on to boil. He turned on the wrong eye though and turned on some grease that had been left on there from the night before or something. He didn't realize what had happened and poof the grease goes up in flames! He grabs it and puts it in the sink. Turns on the water and whoosh the flames went higher. My genius brother grabs one of the socks off of his feet and grabs the handle and runs it out the back door and tosses it out. He burnt his arm pretty good and scared the pee out of me. This was before cell phones so I couldn't get my parents. I had to call a neighbor down the street that was one of my best friends grandmother. She came down and doctored him up and made sure the house wasn't going to burn down. Good times lol!

One of the funniest things he did was when he was in trouble for something. Only the good Lord knows what cause he was in trouble ALL the time. Anyway, my Mother was trying to give him a spanking and he was older at this time probably 11 or so. Well, he dashed out the door and yelled back if she could catch him she could spank him lol. I think that was the last time she tried to spank him. I know she didn't catch him!

I remember huddling under the covers with him during storms and laughing at stupid jokes together. I remember digging in our yard and reaching red clay and thinking instead of digging to China we had been digging to hell. I am sure Robbie helped me come to that conclusion! I remember riding bikes down the street trying to keep up with him and going to our neighbors house and skate boarding down their driveway. Him the correct way, me sitting on my butt lol. Then when we got older I remember having crushes on a few of his friends ~ now I wonder why but hey I was just a kid. I remember hanging on for dear life as he would fly his little vw bug over big hills and curves. His friends would always tease me that they had to pry my hands off the seat to get me out of the car. I remember him blaring his hard rock music and me complaining because we had to listen to it when secretly I actually learned to love SOME of it lol.

Things went wrong after he got even older. He started drinking and constantly needing money for more drinks. I didn't cut him any slack with this and I wouldn't loan him money. I was really pretty hard on him and our relationship suffered for it. The last thing I remember about my brother was a few days before his accident he stopped by to get something and we actually talked and cut up together like the good ole days. Before he walked out the door he looked at me and said "Love you!" Probably not 3 days later he was in a horrible accident. We don't know if it was because of drinking and driving or not. I like to think he just lost control of the car but he wasn't tested for any of that so I will never know. I guess the odds are it was alcohol related. I just thank the Good Lord that no one else was involved in that accident.

Dealing with his death was and is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. I wish with all my heart that he were here to enjoy Anna and to give me a hard time. I wish so many things that I don't even want to go there lol. Just know if you have a sibling in your life you are very lucky! Know that time is precious and oh so short and we are not guaranteed a tomorrow!


  1. Oh honey. Thanks for sharing! I've never had to deal with a loss like that. I hope I never have to, but I know as time goes on, eventually I will, like when my mom dies. I don't know how I'll deal with that... she's so important to me.

    One of my brothers has quietly had substance abuse issues for over a decade. He's got it pretty much under control now, though nobody ever talks about it. I'm so glad nothing ever happened to him when he'd be on a binge. For him, he likes the mind trips he goes on when he's high. He quit smoking cigarettes before he quit smoking pot.

    I hope my kids have fun childhoods together like that. I have lots of pleasant memories from my childhood about my siblings. And I hope they appreciate having aunts and uncles in their lives who love them very much.

  2. In 20 years I hope my kids will look at each other the way you look at your brother. This was beautiful.

    I have 2 sisters but was several several years younger so we never had any of those "bonding" moments. They were close to each other being only 10.5 months apart in age. I don't feel like I missed out on anything, I have a cousin who lived a block away from us, was a year younger than me, and we were like brother and sister. Still fight like siblings sometimes too-only now it is all in fun.
    Family is a very important part of making a person complete(I think) without them I wouldn't be who I am today.
    Thank you for sharing. I hope your memories of your brother bring you peace.

  3. What a fantastic post, thank you for sharing. Hearing memories like this make me realize that even though we still fight like cats and dogs, I am very lucky, as you said, to have 3 little sisters. Thank you again!


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