Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Summertime Blues!

I have had a long hard summer. I lost both of my Grandma's this summer. I can't tell you how much that hurts. Mostly cause I block it out. I am the queen of denial! I don't like pain and suffering therefore I just put it at the back of my mind and forget it. Of course that probably isn't the most healthy way to handle things but it is what it is. I can say that some good came out of this summer. I have reconnected with my family better than I could have ever asked for.

It was fun this summer watching Anna bond with her cousins. She had a blast dragging her smaller cousins around in a wagon, having a water balloon fight, playing in the sand and dirt, playing with chalk, pretending to be mama and who knows what else they got up to lol. She really bonded with my cousin Holly too. She had puppies at her house so Anna wanted to go there ALL the time! Of course sometimes that was just an excuse to go play with her kids. She especially bonded with Katie my cousins 3 year old little girl. Holly also went out and built a volcano out of sand and made it erupt with vinegar and baking soda or whatever it is you use together to make it blow up. The kids loved that!!!

I spent my time with Grandma Annie. I gave her mani pedis and talked and made sure she had food and drink. We watched Murder She Wrote and movies and talked. Grandma likes to talk. Some say I am a lot like my Grandma hmmm. She slept a lot so I did a lot of reading just sitting there with her. She has always lived 4 hours away so we have never been extra close physically but I always knew that Grandma was there if I needed her. I have lost that assurance now and I have to say even though I didn't call as much as I should and I didn't go see her as much as I should I feel a little lost without her. She started getting pretty sick in early July. Her kidneys started shutting down. She already had a bad heart and her body was just getting tired. She was 93 and I have to say up until recently she didn't act her age. I felt terrible in one way that she lingered so long cause she hurt and she was tired and well she was just done! On the other hand I thank God that I had time to spend with her. I had a chance that not many people get and I wouldn't change it.

Now before we went to see Grandma Annie we were with Grandma Caroline. She got sick fairly suddenly. One day she was ok and the next she was having surgery. Maybe not that quick cause she suffered with the pain before deciding to go to the hospital. She just never recovered from the surgery. She was moved to ICU not long after she went in the hospital and stayed there for somewhere around 2 or 3 weeks. It is all a blur for me. We would go hang out in the waiting room and go visit her during visiting hours. Anna actually enjoyed hanging out at the hospital and she always wanted to go with us. My Daddy and I would kinda take turns giving her a break from the hospital. Grandma Caroline had a brief period when she was awake enough for us to talk to but mostly they kept her sedated. When she was conscious though I managed to make her smile a few times (Well as much as she could with the tubes and all.) She was able to tell us she loved us and hear us tell her.

I will miss both of my Grandma's very much! They were both full of courage and spirit and spunk. They both thought of others before themselves and both loved completely. I am thankful I know they are both in heaven now. Grandma Annie is probably singing and dancing and they are both chatting with all of the people they lost.

Things I learned this summer:

  1. You have 1 family don't waste time being stupid.

  2. It is ok to get dirty! It will wash off (eventually).

  3. Take time to go see the cows. Life will keep on going even if you take a minute to just breathe in the fresh air.

  4. Let the people you love know it because sometimes you don't always have another chance.

  5. Children can handle a lot more than we give them credit for.

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