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So my crazy ex-neighbor has finally gone over the deep end! I have been trying to ignore her phone calls for 3 weeks because I just don't want to be involved in her drama any longer. So yesterday she pops up at my house and I just try to rush her out without upsetting her because well honestly she does have mental issues and I don't want to upset her. Anywho, while she was here she went on about how angry she was with her ex that happens to still live next door. About 20-30 minutes after she left my neighbor came over asking if she had been over at his house. I informed him that she had been here but I didn't know about over there. Apparently after leaving here she went over and keyed his new car. He said he was going to have to file ANOTHER police report and being confused I said what do you mean another one! He told me how over Christmas "someone" ran into his garage and damaged it pretty badly. He even went to get pictures to share with me. WOW that is pretty terrible I have to say. I mean I knew my "friend" was not doing well but WOW!!! I seriously cannot have Anna around someone that is doing this. But back to the story, a little while later Anna and I were in the yard playing and a cop pulls up next door and he shows her the car and explains everything to her and she comes over here to question me. I told her that yes she was here and yes she said she was very angry at the neighbor and no we aren't really good friends and I am trying to figure out how to get out of it totally. She told me if he gets a restraining order she won't be able to come here either. In light of what we have discovered we decided that we would try to cut ties without upsetting her to much. When she called this morning Anna & I were still in bed and my hubby decided he would call her back and explain that we like both her and our neighbor and we feel like we are being drawn into the middle of something ugly. That once they work through there crap we would love to hang out with them both. But for now we don't feel like she should come over here and I am not going to hang out with her either. He said it as nicely as you can say something like this! She called back shortly there after and said that he didn't have to worry that she would never contact us again and it was real Christian of us to do this to her and I was a real coward cause I didn't do it myself. What a run on sentence lol. Anywho, I probably should have done it myself but I always botch things like that up and make matters worse so it was for the best this way. As for it not being very Christian - I do worry about that! I mean yes I feel like I have done everything I can to help her on one hand but on the other is it Christian to give up on someone? If Anna weren't in the picture it would probably be different I just can't have Anna around someone that is not stable.
Tell me what you think! Did we do the right thing? Was it not very Christian of us? What would you do?
Personally, I think it was very Christian of you to do it like that. By keeping her in your life so she can vent to you all the crazy things she's feeling about that person, and possibly giving her an excuse to go near her ex-husband's house, you were being an enabler, which is healthy for no one. She needs some more separation from her ex, and she needs to know that having such a temper and erratic personality isn't healthy for other people, let alone herself. Chris told her that she needs to figure some things out. Maybe if she doesn't have someone like you to spout off to, she'll take time to actually say it to herself and really listen to what she is saying and figure out that she's irrational.
ReplyDeleteI would have done the same thing (and I have to a few people who used to be in my life), and then I would have taken a deep breath, shaken off the bad mojo and started a new craft project because I finally released the old "project" from my life.
I think what you did was fine. I deal with a "crazy" person first hand and no matter how many times I have tried to protect my children from it it is impossible. If I could cut all ties I wouldn't give it a 2nd thought. After all God wants us to raise our children to walk with Jesus. When someone is self centered and upset(like my situation) they don't consider the small children who are playing near by and possibly listening and absorbing what is going on around them. Bad negative vibes I don't want my kids to have.
ReplyDeleteMy sister has been "gone" for several years now and I limit the time my kids are around her to just family occasions, and they are not allowed to be alone with her EVER not even in a house full of people. I have an extreme fear that she will give them something that could hurt them. It hurts my mom that we aren't close like we used to be but I need to protect my children above all else.
Good luck with your situation. Best advice is to stop answering the phone and door when it is her. Don't listen to her rantings she is only trying to get under your skin.