Monday, January 12, 2009

Where did my baby go?

We walked into the building and there was complete chaos. Anna doesn't do well with chaos. It makes her nervous. She was nervous anyway because we were out of our element. Anna didn't hide behind me and she didn't cling to me. She stood in front of me watching all of the other children playing and talking. She watched them go to different play stations and do different things. I talked with the Director while she stood there in awe. Her one request before we went in was to see babies. The Director was more than happy to take us back. Anna looked at all of the babies and didn't say a lot. We finished up and left. As we walk out the door Anna complains. "Mommy, I want to go back! I want to see the babies again." My only thoughts were you are MY baby you are to young to go to school. And yet that is exactly what we were there for. We were there to see what kind of program they had and see what we needed to do to enroll her.

I can't believe my baby is going to go to school come August or September whenever they start. I kept thinking back to the day Anna was born. When she was still inside me. The truth is she is growing up. A fact she likes to share almost daily. She is not that same baby that would nurse for hours at a time or that would look around so very alert from the very beginning. She is not the toddler that depended on me to help her walk or eat or translate for her. She is a beautiful little girl that is getting ready for school. She is her own person with her own little personality.

Relationships with your baby are ever changing. So many different phases. Forever changing and growing personalities. It all creates a relationship that is never the same. Every day it is different. Anna keeps me on my toes every single day and I love it. I loved being her Mommy when she was a baby, even though I was exhausted. I loved being her Mommy when she was a toddler, even though she was not sure if she depended on me or herself. I love being her Mommy now, even though she isn't my baby anymore.

So do any of you have a good way to deal with the preschool blues?

1 comment:

  1. I wish I had some advice for you, but I worked when my first one was at that stage. Just feel great that she feels confident enough to want to go!


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