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My head is jumbled up with thoughts. Thoughts of the future and the present. I was laying in the bed with Anna for her nap and I was thinking. Thinking that one day many, MANY years from
now that Anna may lay down with her little boy or girl and watch the leaves dancing in the wind. That everything we do will carry over into her adult life. Someone told me we all have role models. Some are good and some not so good. I so desperately want to be a good role model for Anna. Sometimes it scares me and I feel uncertain and afraid. Who am I to try to mold this wonderful little girl into anything? Then today I had a little insight (with help). We are what we think! If we have thoughts of doubt and fear, feelings of unworthiness etc. that is what we are going to put out there. If we have thoughts of love, hope, joy and happiness that is what we are going to put out there. For to long I have been putting out the wrong stuff. I have let feelings eat me alive and control my world. I have been working on me for a while but I think I have been treading water more than anything. Maybe this will be the year that I break free and become the woman God intended me to be.
now that Anna may lay down with her little boy or girl and watch the leaves dancing in the wind. That everything we do will carry over into her adult life. Someone told me we all have role models. Some are good and some not so good. I so desperately want to be a good role model for Anna. Sometimes it scares me and I feel uncertain and afraid. Who am I to try to mold this wonderful little girl into anything? Then today I had a little insight (with help). We are what we think! If we have thoughts of doubt and fear, feelings of unworthiness etc. that is what we are going to put out there. If we have thoughts of love, hope, joy and happiness that is what we are going to put out there. For to long I have been putting out the wrong stuff. I have let feelings eat me alive and control my world. I have been working on me for a while but I think I have been treading water more than anything. Maybe this will be the year that I break free and become the woman God intended me to be. What kind of model are you going to be? Anyone out there want to join me in offering words of encouragement every now and again? You know the buddy system lol.
I don't think I'll be all I need to be in the role model department. Sometimes I'm too short with them, or don't spend enough time just playing. I hope they'll remember the good times.
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