Thank you so much for all of the words of wisdom and encouragement you all shared with me. I don't know what I am going to do at this point other than continue to pray about it. I am not ready to make that first move yet lol.
Anonymous - Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Everything you said rings true. I think in the past it never worked because we both weren't ready. The next time I try it will be the final straw at least for a long time. Hopefully it will work out.
I am not doing it just for Anna. I am doing it for me. For at least being at peace with whatever happens. There is so much in my life right now in limbo that I need some action! I need to feel like I am actively trying to change things, ya know.
Lori - I feel sometimes that we are better off being seperate lol. I wonder if it really will be the best thing for Anna to bring them into her life. I want to start small and move from there.
Cheryl - My dear friend Cheryl, sometimes our lives seem to run so parrellel to each other it is scary. We share so many life experiences. I am glad you are around to offer up words of wisdom. When you said "I hope you find some peace in your heart if a reconciliation isn't possible. " That is what I truly want. Whatever happens I want peace. You are also right that I miss an ideal situation that never really existed. I am fortunate enough to be very close with my in-laws. I imagine having a good relationship with parents to be what I have with them except they would share the history of your childhood. Yes, I dream a lot lol. I shouldn't stress so much I am so fortunate to have the family that I have created. I just feel like I am missing something.
Reynie - What your sister says is true. You want to know without a shadow of a doubt that you have tried everything you could to mend those fences. Up until recently I felt that I had done that. I pretty much stopped talking to them unless they called me or occassionally we would run into each other at my Grandma's house. Now, like I said, God is just working on me. I feel like it is time to try again to work it out or just totally let it go. This halfway stuff just isn't getting it anymore.
Thanks again and thanks for adding me to your prayers! This is why I love blogging. I love being able to bring my heartaches here and get love back. You guys are the BEST!!!