Monday, October 22, 2007

Why is it

when you are alone with your child or with people they are with often they are one way and then when they are in crowds or with people not seen often they are another way? Anna is a wonderful fun loving little girl that is silly and as witty as a 2 year old can be. However, this weekend when we met our friends at a festival Anna was all shy and quiet and withdrawn. I just don't get it. When we went to the Greek Festival it took her a little while to get comfortable in the crowd but she eventually did and then she didn't want to leave. So my question really is: is there anything I can do to ease her discomfort around crowds and people we don't see often enough? Many children don't have this problem so I don't know if there is something that I need to do that will help her with this. I don't guess it is really a problem lol. It is good that she doesn't just run off with strangers but...

2 comments:

  1. I don't have any magical advice for this. My mom still remembers how I was when I was a little girl. Sometimes, I had a bad vibe about places or people, and I'd get upset or withdrawn.

    I don't think it's a good idea to over-encourage Anna to be sparkly and "on." That gets really easy to fake, even at an early age. Letting her emotions and feelings be genuine means that she'll feel more comfortable later on with honesty and truthfulness.

    You can try talking to her about what she was feeling when she became withdrawn. You could remind her about the earlier experiences when she had such a nice time with those people and then ask her what was different this time.

    On shyness... I was a very sparkly, witty girl too. But I always considered myself to be very shy. I would just hang out on the perimeter for a while and watch what was going on, looking to see if there was a place for me in the crowd. I was always best in small groups or one-on-one. In high school and college, I became very good at public speaking, but that basic personality trait didn't change. I still prefer solitude and I strongly dislike large groups.

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  2. Aunt Casey5:01 PM

    You know we all have a tendency to be stand offish when we are around new people. We all tend to stand back to get a feeling about what the "new" person is all about (their character, their body language, actions, etc.) I don't think children are any different about this. Plus Anna is still pretty young - give her time and I bet she will be talking everyone elses ears off too!!

    Most (if not all) children have a keen sense about who to trust and whose actions are sincere. In the future if Anna is still not responsive to certain people, maybe she is telling you something without saying a word.

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