What a Night!!!

Yes it was our Anniversary but no we did not spend our anniversary having "fun". Let me just tell you all about it. I prepared a lovely dinner for my family since it was our anniversary. I cooked some cubed steak and gravy, rice, green beans and a big ole salad with delicious fresh stuff from the market. My Sister-in-law is in town so she and Anna made some wonderful chocolate & peanut butter brownies for dessert sounds like heaven right!?! Well as we are sitting down enjoying this yummy dinner our power starts flickering in part of the house. YIKES is all we can think. As most of you know I am not working right now and things are super tight! Electrical problems is the last thing we need. Not to mention it was like 100 degrees yesterday and part of our electricity that was out was our A/C!!! So I call the power company praying that it is their problem and not ours. So we go through the automatic thing where you put in your number and chose a number that best describes your problem. Thank God flickering lights and partial outage was one of the choices. About an hour or more later we see a electrical co. truck drive by and my hubby takes Anna to see what is going on. Since it was cooler at this point outside than it was inside! They sit out there and watch the guy and I am preparing for the yard sale that would be taking Saturday (this morning). The guy comes to talk to us to tell us what the problem was and that it would be a few hours before it was all fixed. So great we get to sweat to death in our house for a few hours but hey we could deal with that it was about 7 when he told us this. Anna is usually going to sleep at 8:30 but it was so freakin hot she wouldn't let me hold her to rock her to sleep. Around 9:15 I pushed the issue and she settled down and went to sleep so I put her in her bed. Around 9:30 the service guys finally show up fix the problem. Anna wakes up around 10 I am assuming that she was roasting in her room because when the guys got here to work they cut all power to our house so we had NO fans at all! It was terrible!!! My sis in law and I take Anna to the neighbors because we are watching her dog and she had A/C longer than we did so it was a smidge cooler over there. We hang out and watch the guys work (the pole is right in front of her study). We are still sweating to death!!! I go out to see the guys and he said oh ma'am we will be a while. I asked him to expand on a while. and his reply was he would be done before the night was over. Great - fan-freakin-tastick we get to roast through most of the night. So sis in law and I decide to ride around for a while because the car has A/C. Something not many of you know is that Anna gets scared riding in the car at night! So our 20 minute ride in the car cooled us off but Anna sat in the back going scared Mommy patting her chest over and over. We came home and went to bed because well it was pitch black and we had no other choice at this point. Anna slept in the bed with us all night and I tell you a few times I woke up and I wondered why the bed just didn't naturally combust. Around 6am the power company called to see if our power was up and running. I shut all the windows and cranked up the A/C!!! Of course, then I had to start setting up for the yard sale. I refuse to sweat anymore today!!! Tomorrow I may try to talk my hubby into going to the beach! If he isn't interested I think Anna & I will head out there Monday. Mommy needs some fun in the sun and the ocean!

Happy Anniversary - Hubby!

11 years with me and not to many complaints you deserve a medal!!! I don't have one to give you so I will just sing your praises to the blogosphere instead.

You have been so good to me through thick and thin. You have suffered through chicken so dry you need a whole glass of water to swallow one bite. Thankfully I can cook better now I just need to expand my menus lol. You suffered through numerous years of me yammering at you about wanting a baby. You suffered through many years of me not taking your advice and always regretting it. You have suffered through my terribly difficult pregnancy and draining first few months of doing nothing but nursing and sleeping.

You have been patient through it all and I greatly appreciate everything. You have been my rock, my love, my lover and best of all my best friend! So thank you for being everything to me for the past and continuing to be everything to me through the future. Our future is unknown at this point. We don't know where we will be in a year or what we will be doing but knowing you will be with me makes it all ok. Where ever we end up will be ok with me! I love you very much!

Yours Truely,

Candi

More Fabulous Contests

They are at 5 Minutes for Mom. Here are the ones I think are note worthy!!! Not that the others aren't but you know what I mean.

A Metro Wrap - This would be great for a pregnant friend of mine. She is pregnant and also adopting a baby from China as well.

Living the Dream T-Shirt - Cute t-shirts

Memory Cross Cards - An easy way to teach and learn Bible Versus!

Happy Birthday Robbie

Today would be my brother, Robbie's birthday! He should be 37 years old. He was taken from us what feels like a lifetime ago. Drinking and driving. It happened late one night in November about 12 years ago I guess. (I am terrible with dates and stuff.) I still think about him all the time. When anything important happens I feel his presence, at my wedding and when Anna was born etc. He is still here with me and always will be! He will live on in my heart and my memories and I will pass them down with Anna.

My brother and I went through a period where we didn't get along at ALL! He was drinking pretty heavily and I didn't agree with it. I voiced my opinion quite often. He would try to borrow money from me and I wouldn't give it to him because I didn't know what he would do with it. Just before his accident, a few weeks probably, he was really making an effort to stop drinking. I was very proud of him and told him so. The last time I saw him, the night before his accident, he told me he loved me. That is something that I hold on to very tightly. Knowing that in our dysfunctional way we had made up. We didn't discuss the issue of course lol but he still loved me even though he felt judged. I told him I loved him too and I still do and I always will. As I said before he will live on in me! Since then I have made some terrible mistakes and I feel certain that instead of judging me he would have been there for me. I wish he could be here but it wasn't meant to be. They say only the good die young. Robbie had his issues, as we all do, but he was still good! Thank you for being a great big brother and I miss you very much.

I have to tell a few stories about growing up with Robbie. You know I can't end this post without a good story right?!? Robbie was a child that was work impaired when it came to housework. During the summer we would have a list of things to do before our parents came home. I would get up and get mine out of the way so I could enjoy the rest of the day. Robbie, on the other hand, would get up and lounge around doing absolutely NOTHING and about an hour before my parents would come home I would start pestering him to do his chores.

Here is our dialogue:

Me: Robbie you better get your chores done you know Mom and Dad will be home soon.

Robbie: I don't care, I am not doing it.

Me: Oh come on you will get in trouble if you don't.

Robbie: I said I don't care. I will just get a spanking no biggie.

Me: Oh whatever I will do it for you because I can't stand for you to get in trouble.

Robbie: I knew you would. Can you make sure to do a good job. I don't want to get fussed at for doing it poorly!

Me: JERK!!! (then I would go do it anyway)

I think he saw sucker written across my forehead what do you think lol. I just hated to hear him get in trouble it would break my heart every time.

One time when we were home alone he decided to cook something I don't remember what. (He was domestically challenged, also) He turned on the stove and turned on the wrong eye on the stove. My Mother had some grease left on the stove and well, it went up in flames! Robbie grabbed it off the stove and into the sink and added water to it. You can guess what happened then, it went up in flames even worse! So the genius that he was went and grabbed a tube sock and put it on his arm and grabbed the pot and took it outside burning his arm in the process. We had to call a neighbor to come doctor him up. He was very challenging for me lol.

Then as we got older he was even more challenging and entertaining lol. His senior year in high school I was a freshman so he had to drive me to school. He had an old Volkswagen, bug that was VERY old!!! He would drive that car like it was a Corvette or something. Going so fast over some hills his friends would tease me that they had to pry my hands off the seat from holding on so tight. He made me listen to hard rock which I swore I hated but secretly kind of liked. Some of it anyway. I hear old hard rock and I flash back to those wild car rides - good times!!!

Oh and the last one I promise! I LOVED riding the rides at places like Six Flags and fairs and stuff. My brother was so good to me (he should have been after I had been doing his chores forever) he would ride the rides over and over even though he really didn't enjoy them. I think it was at the fair that I made him ride the Spider over and over and over so many times he finally got sick! My brother got sick just for me! If that isn't love I don't know what is!

Happy Birthday Robbie!!! You are missed!!! You are still loved!!!

Works for me Wednesday

Outside time is fairly impossible in the south. However, when you have a toddler that loves the great out doors you have to figure out a way to deal with it. So probably every other day or so we go outside and play in the water. We get out pink bucket and the water hose and get wet and have fun in the great out doors without melting! You can see some pictures if you look in the post below for the Wordless Wednesday!!! Anna loves it and I love it when she is so very happy. Makes the rest of the day go by so much faster.

For more great tips go HERE!

Wordless Wednesday - Summer Fun

real or make believe?

So I have not been keeping you all in the loop. My neighbors house is like a real live soap opera. Would you like to hear about it. Yes well of course you do because we all love a real soap story. So sit back with a cup of coffee and enjoy the craziness of another persons life.

Characters:

Neighbor - Christine

Neighbors boyfriend - father of her child - Kramer

Son - 8 months old - George

One day I get a phone call from my neighbor and we are chatting just usual stuff about the babies etc. She said you want to come over and I said sure I have to tell you about what happened with my Mother and she said ok and I need to tell you what happened with Kramer. So I went over later and she said well Kramer and I had another fight (this is a common theme in their relationship). He left (on a Sunday at roughly 8pm) and said he wasn't coming back and I told him just to stay away for a week. She tried to call him on Monday and he wouldn't take her calls. She checked there joint account and he had taken out almost $500.00. She goes into instant panic mode. She spent the better part of Monday and Tuesday buying things like diapers, wipes, food and anything she needed for George on Kramer's credit card. By Wednesday she had tried to contact him several times and she still hadn't heard from him. She decided that she would go back home to New York even though she didn't have a good place to go. She started packing up and called to tell Kramer and ordered things she would need for George there. By Friday she is a basket case and distraught that the man she loves would just cut her and their son totally out of his life that easily. She decides Saturday that she isn't going back to NY she will find a place here. It will be less expensive and she doesn't think it is fair to take George that far away from Kramer. So Sunday (Father's Day) she spends the day trying to figure things out. Then at 8pm guess who comes walking in the door. You got it Kramer. He thought that since she told him to stay out for a week he would do exactly that. He wasn't checking the messages on his cellphone and if he heard her voice on his work phone he deleted it. He had no idea of the drama that he had caused! She was livid to say the least. Since then they have agreed maybe they need to live seperately and she is going to move into a house that she found to rent. He will either remain beside me or sale or rent the house out. Who knows.

I am just glad that I don't have that kind of drama in my house. I am so glad that I have a husband that is in it to stay. We have our issues - trust me we have our issues - but we work through them and try to make our relationship stronger for them. We have a lot of time invested in each other though and I think that is part of the difference. We are coming up on our 11th Anniversary. It is this Friday so drink a toast to us!!! Before we were married we dated for about 6 years so we have been together for about half our lives WOW!!! Maybe tomorrow I will give you my take on marriage and the good and bad of it. There is definitely more good though or we wouldn't have been in it for so long!

4th of July Give Away

There is a great give away - well several give aways at 5 minutes for mom. I have entered the one about the ice cream maker!!! YUMMY - Anna would love that. I haven't won anything yet but maybe one day lol. So head on over and check out what else they have to give away. I'd rather you didn't join the ice cream maker one unless you want to send it to me (evil laugh here)!

Just my thoughts - not a debate

There is something I don't understand about a relatively new practice in America. Anna is such a sweet and innocent child grant it she has her moments but really overall she is still a sweet and innocent child. How can a mother make such a sweet, innocent child cry it out? This seems to be a common trend these days with some mothers and if you are one of them I am sorry I don't mean to offend or start a debate. I just don't understand how or even why this happens.

If you look at it over the course of a persons life they are little and dependent for such a short time. Why do we feel all consumed with making them independent so quickly. I want Anna to feel safe and secure for as long as possible. I want her to know that at any given moment if she needs me I will be there if at all possible. I am hoping that this will lead to a feeling of safety, security and Independence as she grows older. I am going with the build her up instead of knock her down theory. She will learn soon enough in this great big world that not everyone can be trusted and that sometimes we aren't even safe in our own home. She knows that she is well loved and if some look at it like we are spoiling her or catering to her then so be it. I brought her into the world it wasn't her choice it was ours and thankfully God decided to grant her to us. I feel that for a while we should at least make her feel like her world is as close to perfect as we can make it. That doesn't mean that she is let run wild and crazy. She minds very well and even says please and thank you .

No one knows how a child will turn out when they grow up. No one knows if the way they parent is right or wrong. The only thing we do know is what feels right to us and for me nurturing and loving Anna is what feels right. We still rock her to sleep and if she wakes up (which really isn't often) I go climb in bed with her until she goes back to sleep it really works for us. If you feel that leaving your baby in the room to cry / work things out for themselves is right for you then go for it (I guess). Just remember that all things will pass and the time that our children want us to cuddle and snuggle and love on them is so fleeting missing out on a second of it is really a shame. I know all about sleep deprivation! Anna was up every hour and a half when she was an infant probably up until she was 4 months and then up every 3 or 4 after she was about 7 months. We did have that brief period between 4-7 months where she slept through the night (without crying it out) and now finally after getting up at least 1 time a night forever she is finally sleeping through the night most nights. For those of us that don't cry it out there is hope for sleeping through the night hang in there. Your time for sleep will come back soon.

OK so this is just my thoughts on the whole thing it is probably jumpy but I just wanted to get it out. I have been listening to people talk about it a lot lately and it just bothers me. I even had a friend tell me she would do it for me if I wanted her too. No thanks is all I can say!

Childhood Nicknames

Jabber jaws was one of my many nicknames when I was little. I think I got it because I learned to talk and then never shut up. Along with Candy Cane, Candi Lou, Buzzard and God only knows what else. Anna is Anna Banana of course, baby girl, doll baby etc. Now it seems like she is going to try and take over the Jabber Jaws name. See the picture below and tell me I am wrong.

Do you have any funny or unusual nicknames?

Wordless Wednesday

My first ever "self portrait"

lol I will call it that for lack of a better term! Here are some pics I took of myself to show off my new do!!!

So here I am. It is lovely to meet you!

Happy Father's Day!

I am truly blessed in the Dad department. Not only do I have a wonderful Dad (that I don't get to see nearly enough) but I also have a wonderful Daddy-in-law! Both are wonderful men in there own way.

My Daddy when I was growing up was wonderful. He was that silent strength you know what I am talking about. He was always there but usually not overly verbal in his support. Some of my best memories growing up are of my Dad. One of the funniest (not to him) was when we were on our way to Daytona Beach for vacation. It was me, my brother, my parents and my aunt and uncle. We stopped at a burger place I think it was called "What a Burger" or something like that. So we place our order and my brother carries all the bags to the table and proceeds to go through them looking for his order. My Dad in his starved and sleep deprived state thought he was going to eat them all or something lol. So he grabbed the empty bag and whacked my brother on the head! The look on my brothers face was pretty priceless. I can still see it even though it has been YEARS - DECADES even!!! There is the ton of memories of playing in the pool in our backyard or camping. Another good one is when I scared at least 10 years off of my Daddy's life when he gave me my first driving lesson! He wanted me to drive a stick shift so he started teaching me in our OLD beatle bug. You know the ones before they became popular again. Well, I was doing pretty good. Instead of doing that jerky start I squealed the tires. Woo Hoo!!! So we get close to the end of our road and he says turn here on the dirt road. So ummm me in my literal brain said ok and took the turn going at least 35 MPH (after all he didn't tell me to slow down). It freaked me out because as soon as I realized what I did I knew it was wrong and I didn't know how to gear down or how to fix it! So the genius that I was closed my eyes and took the hands off the wheel! My Dad with his silent strength didn't panic he grabbed the wheel and did whatever it took to keep us from going through the house on the corner of that dirt road. If I really think about it that is how I always saw my Dad. The one that I could close my eyes and let go with and know that he would be there! So Happy Father's Day Daddy!!! I am sorry that I don't get to see you much and mostly I am sorry that you don't get to see Anna enough!

My Father-in-law is an incredible man too. I obviously haven't know him as long but our relationship is just as good. He is the guy that was the football star in high school, can still dance like the prom king (I don't know if he was one or not). I love to watch him and my mother-in-law dance. They can shag like nobody else I know. Big Daddy is a lot of fun to be around but if you ever need someone on your side he is the go to guy. He has gotten me out of my share of jams! I would have to say my best memories with Big Daddy are of him and Anna. After we had Anna he has become a different man. He is silly, outrageous and well honestly hysterical!!! There is nothing funnier than watching such a big rough and tumble looking guy play dolls, color or whatever Anna decides he needs to do. She can tell him to sit and he will do it but for some reason it only works for Anna lol. He was the first one to keep Anna at night. He did this for me to go to a Kenny Rogers concert with Casey and Lynn. (this is before she was totally weaned.) He said it was going great until she got tired but he just couldn't do anything with her then. So he held her until she cried herself to sleep. We got home and all the lights were on in the house and we walked through to the back room where Anna was sleeping and he was sitting on the edge of the bed watching her sleep because he didn't want her to fall out of the bed. Any man that is that wonderful with my daughter is, well, wonderful!!! I knew he was before Anna but he shows me now every time he is with Anna. Even when he is nervous that her bite is to big or she is running to fast . That is how he shows that he loves her to pieces and can't bare to live without her!

Thank you both for being such great Dad's!!!

My Life

Are there days that you feel like you are exactly where you should be? Anna makes me feel that way most days. She is thriving with me at home. Who am I kidding, she may still be thriving if I were working but I will just say it is ME!!! Today we had the tv on and a commercial came on with a jockey riding his horse talking about some kind of medicine. All of a sudden she glances up and says "getty up - getty up"! She is so smart. We were helping our neighbor with some things and Anna was entertaining her baby. We aren't exactly sure what they were doing. The baby was in his exersaucer thingy and Anna was in front of him and they were both laughing so hard. It was hysterical to watch if only I had my camera with me.

Today Anna napped for 2 hours in her bed. So I had time to make phone calls and do a few things around the house. That is always a nice treat! I took our home phone down to the very basic. We will only use it to make local phone calls. I would have cancelled it totally but if I did I would have had to cancel my internet. However, by keeping the phone line it is still cheaper than getting the internet through the cable co. So, if you want to reach me or my hubby call our cell phones cause we probably won't answer our home phone.

Wordless Wednesday - My Little Diva

Works for me Wednesday!

I have discovered the coolest thing in cyber space! It is called freecycle.org Someone here may have told me about it I can't remember. It is the coolest thing ever. If you have stuff to give away or need something you can go here and odds are you will get rid of it or find it. Check it out and maybe you can clean house or get something you have needed for a while and couldn't afford! Have fun and for more great ideas go to Rocks in My Dryer!!!

Tackle it Tuesday

Today my tackle has been my neighbor. She is going through a very tough time. Anna and I have been keeping her company. Keeping her mind occupied and trying to keep her focused. I am also collecting some of my baby things that we aren't using anymore and giving them to a girl on freecycle.com that is on bedrest. So that is what we are tackling today. What about you what are you tackling? If you want to see what others are up too go HERE!

Musings about Motherhood!

Why is it that my relationship with my Mother is so messed up? My Mother hasn't felt like my Mom in so long I can't remember when it was. I never thought about the difference between the two until we started having our issues. We had it out on instant message last night. I am not sure how things have escalated to the point that they have. I know that I have done my share to screw things up but apparently I am totally to blame for it all! That is neither here nor there. Lets suffice it to say my Mother and I will not be spending time together for a long time.

Now I am left wondering, am I going to do the same thing to Anna? Am I going to make her feel so unimportant, incompetent and ugly inside and out? I am sure when I was Anna's age my Mother didn't think she would do those things to me. I am trying to find a way to get things straight in my mind the dos and don'ts of mothering. I am currently trying to work on my self-image because I don't want Anna to grow up thinking she is to fat, to ugly or to plain even when she is perfect. I want her to see confidence and beauty in herself so that has to begin with me. I don't want to pass on my doubt and fear. I am also trying to remind myself that I am a lovable person. This one is harder than the self-image. I mean honestly, I am overweight but I still have some cute qualities about myself. I have great hair, my eyes are like melted chocolate and a cute little button nose. The lovable part not so easy. The way I see it if my own Mother doesn't seem to love me then I must be defective. I know in my head that is totally not true but my heart can't get it right.

So I will start a list of Dos and Don'ts and if anyone has anything to add please do so.

DO:

• love your child unconditionally
• discipline with love
• spend quality time with your child
• encourage
• teach (in a fun manner if possible)
• be patient (this one is one of the hardest for me lol)
• set a good example (teach by doing) including a healthy self image
• give lots of hugs and kisses and I love yous

DON'T

• be hateful
• speak in anger
• discourage
• ignore or put in front of a tv all day
• do as I say not as I do

Thank you for reading my vent. I want to be a Mom not a Mother! I will be a Mom!!!

Day at the beach!

We had a busy day today. It started out for my hubby at about 5:45 or so. We had a yard sale with our church benefiting our youth. Since he works with the youth he had to be there bright and early. Anna and I followed him several hours later lol. We got there at about 8:30 and stayed for a while. We did our part and bought a few things while we were there including a pair of super cute beach shoes for Anna. They are purple and have a pink and green strip down the side. She really seemed to like them and for $.50 you can't beat that. Then we also bought some legos that will fit on the lego table at Yia Yia and Pop's house. So we did our part! After a while our friends Matt, Melissa and Miles came by and we headed out to the beach. We had to leave my hubby there to finish his duties to the youth poor thing and in this heat too YUCK! So we stopped and got some KFC to have on the beach and away we go. I can't tell you how much more fun it is going to the beach with a child than it was without! She makes everything seem so much more fun and exciting. We played in the shallow section with the waves breaking over us for a while and then we went out to the deeper water. Anna really loved it. She paticularly loved the kite that someone was flying. We had our picnic lunch and then went right back out. It was really great. Well I would love to keep going but someone is desperate for a little TLC. Have a great afternoon!

Father's Day Contest Part 1

5 Minutes for Mom is having another great contest. It is a Rolling Stones 4-DVD collection. My hubby would love to have it. If you want to try to win it as well go here!

It will make a great Father's Day gift!!!

Bringing home a baby changes EVERYTHING!!!

Almost 2 years ago we had the joy of bringing home Anna. This of course is after almost a week in the hospital! Anna was so small she couldn't come home right away. She wasn't in the NICU she just didn't pass her carseat challenge. Little did I know then how much such a tiny baby would change my life!

She has brought so much joy, laughter, frustration, craziness and most of all love! She is the center of my universe in so many ways. She lights up my heart whenever I hear her call my name or she gives me a kiss or hug without me even requesting. She laughs a lot and when she laughs you can't help but laugh with her. She is such a wonderful blessing to me and my hubby. I can't remember what life was like pre-Anna. I am sure it had its good points too but honestly I don't remember. She is the reason I breathe throughout the day. She is the reason I am happy to get out of bed every morning. She is the reason I know exactly what unconditional love is. Of course on the flip side of that she is the reason I want to pull my hair out some days. She is the reason I have extra gray hairs coming in. She is the reason I feel like I am on a constant roller coaster and I am not sure when I will get off but most days I don't want to anyways so it doesn't matter.

They say having a baby changes everything and until the day you bring your baby home you don't understand that. I though I did but I was so wrong. It changes how fast you eat dinner, how fast you go to the little girls room, how you feel about your hubby, how you feel about your pets and so many other things. It changes the smallest things too like how deeply you sleep (or don't). It changes your priorities and your thought process. It changes, well, EVERYTHING.

You love stronger and you laugh louder. There is nothing greater than being a Mommy!!! So every day I thank God that he made that possible. I thank my hubby for bearing with me through the ups and downs. The learning curve for a new Mommy is sometimes wide. I thank my friends (blog and IRL) for listening to me go on and on about my pride and joy! If you want to tell me what changed most for you after becoming a Mommy leave me a comment. I would love to know. Oh and any second time Moms I am curious does it change even more after number 2?!?

Another Fabulous Give Away

Are you tired of watching reruns or having to run out to rent a movie? 5 Minutes for Moms is ready to change that for you!!! They are giving away 5 - 6 months subsriptions for Netflix!!! I am hoping to win this so that maybe I can actually watch a few movies this summer lol. If you would like the chance to win head over to 5 Minutes for Moms and leave a comment of your 2 favorite movies and you will be entered to win! & if you happen to win and don't want it leave my name lol! Enjoy!!!

Sponsor a Soldier

I have just recently found out a way to sponsor a soldier. I think this is an awesome thing to do because these guys are over in Iraq and some don't have a lot of friends or family to send them notes or care packages etc. So by sponsoring a soldier you pledge for the next 15 months you will adopt a soldier making sure your soldier knows they are appreciated!!! If you are interested in adopting a soldier leave me a comment or email me and I will send you the information.

Not many of you know this but I had a brother. He was a marine and was in the first Gulf war. I was a teenager and totally self involved. Until recently I didn't give much thought about what life was like over there. I worried about him of course and I kept up with him as much as I could but I didn't go out of my way. He has since passed away about 13 years ago. Now as an adult I am worried that he was over there without support and comfort from anyone back home. I don't know if my parents wrote to him or not. I like to think so but I just don't know. So that is why I am sponsoring a soldier. I am doing it for my brother. I am doing it for myself to make myself feel a little better about it all. I am doing it for the soldier!