Listening to God

A few weeks ago I had this urge to go visit my in-laws. I get along great with my in-laws but it isn't often that I get a whim to go see them. There are 2 very good reasons for that first of all because Anna is not a great traveler (she gets it from me) and second of all because they are here so often we don't have to. It had been Christmas since we had seen them and I just knew we needed to go visit. I told Chris that we needed to and he wasn't so sure lol. He wanted to just chill on our weekend and not worry about it. I convinced him that we needed too and even after I got sick on Wednesday I was determined to go. We left Friday after Anna got out of school. Saturday we went to breakfast and Anna stayed with Yia Yia and Pop most of the day. Her Daddy was in and out too but she was mainly Yia Yia and Pops for the day. They had a blast. Did a little shopping, played legos (Anna's favorite thing to do with Pop!) and colored and who knows what else lol. They just had the perfect day! Anna and I were staying with Aunt Casey and Chris stayed with his Mom and Dad. That is the way we do it when we visit for whatever reason lol. I have always thought of it as trying to give Aunt Casey a little time since Anna is always about Yia Yia and Pop when they are around. We left that night and everything was right in the world. We had no idea that less than 8 hours later our world would turn upside down.

Pop had been having some health issues. His legs were constantly swollen and his body was starting to swell as well, he was on a heart monitor because they wanted to watch it for a while (they did this every year or so.) Around 4:30 am his alarm on the monitor went off. Less than an hour later we lost our beloved Pop! Our family has suffered a great loss! Pop was a large part of the sparkle in our family. He was a fun-loving friend to anyone he met. He could have a fabulous conversation with a brick wall lol. I remember when Casey woke me up and told me my first thoughts were that this was a bad joke. Sure he wasn't the healthiest person around but Pop was larger than life he was going to be around forever. Chris says it best I think - He gave so freely with his big heart that he had nothing left for himself.

Now you wonder what all of this has to do with listening to God? I know without a shadow of doubt that God told me that we needed to go to visit! I know that for a few reasons. Pop loved his Anna more than anything and they needed that day of love for them both. I think I forgot to mention that they also made Valentine's Day cards. They made them for each other and us. We have the one Pop made for our whole family and that is a special gift! Anna now has the sweet memory of the day, doing all the things she loved with her Pop. If I hadn't listened to God she wouldn't have that. If I hadn't listened to God Lynn would have been home alone trying to deal with all of this. Chris would have never been able to forgive himself for not being there through this. If I had not listened to God we would have had a 2.5 hour trip after finding out he was gone. Casey would have been home alone when the call came in. You can sit there and think what you will but I know that my God was telling me to go home! My God loves me enough to put me where I need to be when I am needed.

He loves me enough to talk to me and have a relationship with me. I am not a perfect person. In fact, I have screwed up more than most! However, I am blessed to be loved by a perfect God that is forgiving! I have a long way to go before I can claim the perfect relationship with Him. I don't read my Bible as much as I should, instead I read novels. I pray to Him but I sometimes hold things back. I give things over to Him and then I take them back because well, I think I know how to handle it. I am trying real hard to be the person that He wants me to be and I still fall short most of the time. Through all of that He still talks to me! He still loves me and forgives me each and every time!!!

I thank God for that last day with Pop! I am thankful that I am assured that Pop feels 100% better now. That he is happy and talking the ear off of all of his friends and family that went ahead of him. We will always miss Pop, but I am so glad that I believe in Jesus and I know that one day we will see him again!

Does God talk to you? Have you slowed down to listen to Him lately? I know I need to slow down a lot more than I do! My church has just started a Bible Study Discerning the Voice of God. I am excited about it.

Happy Birthday Robbie

Today would be my brother, Robbie's birthday! He should be 37 years old. He was taken from us what feels like a lifetime ago. Drinking and driving. It happened late one night in November about 12 years ago I guess. (I am terrible with dates and stuff.) I still think about him all the time. When anything important happens I feel his presence, at my wedding and when Anna was born etc. He is still here with me and always will be! He will live on in my heart and my memories and I will pass them down with Anna.

My brother and I went through a period where we didn't get along at ALL! He was drinking pretty heavily and I didn't agree with it. I voiced my opinion quite often. He would try to borrow money from me and I wouldn't give it to him because I didn't know what he would do with it. Just before his accident, a few weeks probably, he was really making an effort to stop drinking. I was very proud of him and told him so. The last time I saw him, the night before his accident, he told me he loved me. That is something that I hold on to very tightly. Knowing that in our dysfunctional way we had made up. We didn't discuss the issue of course lol but he still loved me even though he felt judged. I told him I loved him too and I still do and I always will. As I said before he will live on in me! Since then I have made some terrible mistakes and I feel certain that instead of judging me he would have been there for me. I wish he could be here but it wasn't meant to be. They say only the good die young. Robbie had his issues, as we all do, but he was still good! Thank you for being a great big brother and I miss you very much.

I have to tell a few stories about growing up with Robbie. You know I can't end this post without a good story right?!? Robbie was a child that was work impaired when it came to housework. During the summer we would have a list of things to do before our parents came home. I would get up and get mine out of the way so I could enjoy the rest of the day. Robbie, on the other hand, would get up and lounge around doing absolutely NOTHING and about an hour before my parents would come home I would start pestering him to do his chores.

Here is our dialogue:

Me: Robbie you better get your chores done you know Mom and Dad will be home soon.

Robbie: I don't care, I am not doing it.

Me: Oh come on you will get in trouble if you don't.

Robbie: I said I don't care. I will just get a spanking no biggie.

Me: Oh whatever I will do it for you because I can't stand for you to get in trouble.

Robbie: I knew you would. Can you make sure to do a good job. I don't want to get fussed at for doing it poorly!

Me: JERK!!! (then I would go do it anyway)

I think he saw sucker written across my forehead what do you think lol. I just hated to hear him get in trouble it would break my heart every time.

One time when we were home alone he decided to cook something I don't remember what. (He was domestically challenged, also) He turned on the stove and turned on the wrong eye on the stove. My Mother had some grease left on the stove and well, it went up in flames! Robbie grabbed it off the stove and into the sink and added water to it. You can guess what happened then, it went up in flames even worse! So the genius that he was went and grabbed a tube sock and put it on his arm and grabbed the pot and took it outside burning his arm in the process. We had to call a neighbor to come doctor him up. He was very challenging for me lol.

Then as we got older he was even more challenging and entertaining lol. His senior year in high school I was a freshman so he had to drive me to school. He had an old Volkswagen, bug that was VERY old!!! He would drive that car like it was a Corvette or something. Going so fast over some hills his friends would tease me that they had to pry my hands off the seat from holding on so tight. He made me listen to hard rock which I swore I hated but secretly kind of liked. Some of it anyway. I hear old hard rock and I flash back to those wild car rides - good times!!!

Oh and the last one I promise! I LOVED riding the rides at places like Six Flags and fairs and stuff. My brother was so good to me (he should have been after I had been doing his chores forever) he would ride the rides over and over even though he really didn't enjoy them. I think it was at the fair that I made him ride the Spider over and over and over so many times he finally got sick! My brother got sick just for me! If that isn't love I don't know what is!

Happy Birthday Robbie!!! You are missed!!! You are still loved!!!