Happy Birthday Robbie

Today would be my brother, Robbie's birthday! He should be 37 years old. He was taken from us what feels like a lifetime ago. Drinking and driving. It happened late one night in November about 12 years ago I guess. (I am terrible with dates and stuff.) I still think about him all the time. When anything important happens I feel his presence, at my wedding and when Anna was born etc. He is still here with me and always will be! He will live on in my heart and my memories and I will pass them down with Anna.

My brother and I went through a period where we didn't get along at ALL! He was drinking pretty heavily and I didn't agree with it. I voiced my opinion quite often. He would try to borrow money from me and I wouldn't give it to him because I didn't know what he would do with it. Just before his accident, a few weeks probably, he was really making an effort to stop drinking. I was very proud of him and told him so. The last time I saw him, the night before his accident, he told me he loved me. That is something that I hold on to very tightly. Knowing that in our dysfunctional way we had made up. We didn't discuss the issue of course lol but he still loved me even though he felt judged. I told him I loved him too and I still do and I always will. As I said before he will live on in me! Since then I have made some terrible mistakes and I feel certain that instead of judging me he would have been there for me. I wish he could be here but it wasn't meant to be. They say only the good die young. Robbie had his issues, as we all do, but he was still good! Thank you for being a great big brother and I miss you very much.

I have to tell a few stories about growing up with Robbie. You know I can't end this post without a good story right?!? Robbie was a child that was work impaired when it came to housework. During the summer we would have a list of things to do before our parents came home. I would get up and get mine out of the way so I could enjoy the rest of the day. Robbie, on the other hand, would get up and lounge around doing absolutely NOTHING and about an hour before my parents would come home I would start pestering him to do his chores.

Here is our dialogue:

Me: Robbie you better get your chores done you know Mom and Dad will be home soon.

Robbie: I don't care, I am not doing it.

Me: Oh come on you will get in trouble if you don't.

Robbie: I said I don't care. I will just get a spanking no biggie.

Me: Oh whatever I will do it for you because I can't stand for you to get in trouble.

Robbie: I knew you would. Can you make sure to do a good job. I don't want to get fussed at for doing it poorly!

Me: JERK!!! (then I would go do it anyway)

I think he saw sucker written across my forehead what do you think lol. I just hated to hear him get in trouble it would break my heart every time.

One time when we were home alone he decided to cook something I don't remember what. (He was domestically challenged, also) He turned on the stove and turned on the wrong eye on the stove. My Mother had some grease left on the stove and well, it went up in flames! Robbie grabbed it off the stove and into the sink and added water to it. You can guess what happened then, it went up in flames even worse! So the genius that he was went and grabbed a tube sock and put it on his arm and grabbed the pot and took it outside burning his arm in the process. We had to call a neighbor to come doctor him up. He was very challenging for me lol.

Then as we got older he was even more challenging and entertaining lol. His senior year in high school I was a freshman so he had to drive me to school. He had an old Volkswagen, bug that was VERY old!!! He would drive that car like it was a Corvette or something. Going so fast over some hills his friends would tease me that they had to pry my hands off the seat from holding on so tight. He made me listen to hard rock which I swore I hated but secretly kind of liked. Some of it anyway. I hear old hard rock and I flash back to those wild car rides - good times!!!

Oh and the last one I promise! I LOVED riding the rides at places like Six Flags and fairs and stuff. My brother was so good to me (he should have been after I had been doing his chores forever) he would ride the rides over and over even though he really didn't enjoy them. I think it was at the fair that I made him ride the Spider over and over and over so many times he finally got sick! My brother got sick just for me! If that isn't love I don't know what is!

Happy Birthday Robbie!!! You are missed!!! You are still loved!!!