Wordless Wednesday @ the lake

Those 2 dots you see are me and Anna!
Learning to ride a bike!
3 generations! My Daddy, me and Anna
Anna took this pic of me. She is a budding photographer!
Anna floating!

Here I am!!!

We have had a lovely time this past weekend. Anna and I ended up going to the lake with my parents. Chris had a lot of work to do so he couldn't go with us. It was nice although my parents little rat dog terrorized Anna. She liked their hot dogs. She likes sleeping on the "bus" (RV) and loved picnicing for all of our meals. She even enjoyed swimming in the lake although it kinda grossed me out lol. We smelled like wet dogs when we got out of it yuck! My parents were nice and we just enjoyed a little visit. My Dad had a blast playing with Anna in the lake and watching her learn to ride her new "bike" (tricycle). She is pretty efficient at it now although up hill still poses a challenge.

I feel a little more at ease. A little less crazy lol. All of the calmness of the lake eased some of my tensions. The fact that Anna had fun helped too. I don't know why my happiness is so tied into hers but it really is. If she is sad or upset, I am too. If she is happy and excited, I am too. She is my world.

We went to the pool today with some friends. One of her sons is playing football for the first time ever and he is struggling with it. He got tackled or had to tackle for the first time the other day and he didn't like it. He doesn't want to continue but she wants him to at least make it this one season even if he never plays again. We were talking about how he is over thinking things. You know what I mean, he is focusing on all of the "what ifs". I tend to do that very same thing. It doesn't matter what the situation the what ifs work their way into my head. My goal is to shut that part of me off lol. You would think they would keep me out of trouble but nope nu uh. Anyway, I just wanted to update you all and let you know that I am still around.

We are preparing for a visit by Fay. She isn't going to visit us directly but we will see a lot of her "charms" if you will. We are expecting a lot of rain and winds upwards to 45 miles per hour. It shouldn't be to bad here but they say we can expect to lose power and have some flooding. I pray that it won't take any more lives and that we won't have a lot of damage from it.

Taking a Break!

I am having a hard time posting anything right now. I feel like whatever I post will be just eh, ya know. So instead of posting I am going to take a break. Maybe after a long weekend of just soaking up Anna I will feel a little lighter and a little more at peace. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Not so Wordless Tuesday and Wednesday

We woke up to another overcast day which was exactly what I wanted. I was hoping that the rain would wait until after our photo shoot before it would come (which it did!). We went to the Bamboo Farm to get some pictures. I try to get some around all of the important milestones, ya know. Since we hadn't done one since she turned three (a week and a half ago) that was our mission. We took our friends Shanda and Allie with us. We had a great time. We even had a picnic out there. I had to share a few of my favorite pictures with you because well I just couldn't keep them to myself!




OK so it was more than just a few but can you blame me?

MIA

I'm sorry I have neglected you all this past week. I have been living in my real world. A world filled with imagination, music, dancing, Sesame Street and other animations. It is also full of unkind realities, forgiveness, love and new beginnings. I have spent the week trying to deal with all of those aspects of my world. I have been struggling with depression for a while now and didn't even understand it. I hope that I am coming out of this ugliness and back into my self. I feel a little closer to that fun loving woman that I use to be. Not that I am really there yet but at least I am working on it!

My birthday is in 2 weeks! I will be, uh ummm, 35 years old although if you ask me on any normal day I will tell you 27ish lol. I don't really have so many issues with turning 35 years old this year. In years past I have struggled with getting older. Now I can say that I don't feel 35 so thats ok. Not to mention I have had numerous people telling me lately how good I look and well you know that never hurts a girls self image!

Here is a collage of how I have been spending my days!

Trials and Tribulations!

Saturday, the day of Anna's party, I woke up and went to get gas and a few things for the party. I went back out to the car after finishing my shopping to discover a big puddle of gasoline under my car. I called Chris and I just wanted to cry. I felt like a black cloud was hanging over my head. It was a long week last week and that was like the last straw. Chris and his Dad came out and sent me home with his Dad's car so that I could get the ice cream out of the 90+ degrees. I cried half the way home praying that God would make me stronger. That the day was all about Anna and I needed to let the rest go. After I got my very soft ice cream put away I took on Chris's duties. I cut the front yard while Chris's Mom put mulch down in the front flower bed. Anna was helping her with that. In the mean time back at wal-mart the wrecker had arrived but refused to tow the car because it had a gas leak. This just strikes me as funny since they were told that before they were sent out. Anyway, they said they had to get approval from a fire dept before they would tow it. The Lord stepped in and he put a fire truck on the scene. (They do a lot of shopping there.) They drove the truck over with the lights on and all 4 guys got out and assessed the situation. They told the tow truck driver that it would be fine for him to tow. (I really hate I missed all of that excitement lol). He finally got it towed and to the car shop were we later found out it was only a bad gas line. Praise God!!! Chris came home and our friend Jason came over. They got the back yard cleaned up, the new pool blown up and full of water and table and chairs out. The party came together because of the joint effort of friends and family. Thank you all for your efforts and support!!!

As for the other stuff last week it was drama with friends. I won't go into the details but lets just say it was like revisiting high school. Chris and I have also been having our fair share of trouble. The financial kind, YUCK! We are going to move forward with our plan to sale the house and move somewhere smaller. Keeping the house is not worth all of the stress and strain it is creating. I have felt like I was drowning and lost and alone for so long now it isn't funny. I tend to forget that there are people out there that love me and will support me through hard times. Chris is included in that list. I shouldered the burden for a while and kept Chris in the dark. I just didn't want him to be disappointed or angry with me. All along it would have been so much better if we had been working together.

Party All The Time!

Anna's party was a success! She had 3 other little girls over to play. We had a pool in the back yard a sprinkler set up and a beach ball for each little girl. They played for an hour and then we had cake and ice cream followed by presents. I would like to thank all of our friends for coming over and participating in her birthday. It meant a lot to us all. Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure!