Day 5

She cried and cried! All the way to school she begged me to take her home. I knew if I did take her home that battle would have been lost but the urge to turn that car around was SO strong! I continued down the road and we made it to school. She really started carrying on when we got there and I did our normal routine. I helped her get her stuff up and gave her a hug. I told her I had to go and I practically ran out the door cause the tears were coming down. It breaks my heart that this is so hard on her. I keep asking myself if it is something that I have done that made her need me so much. There is only one other little boy in the class having the same problem that Anna is having. So what causes this problem? What makes one child cry when they are going to school and another delight in it? The only thing that I can see that I have done that would have created this is the fact that she has been with me pretty much all the time. I mean I leave her with a friend every now and again and she goes to church to her class with no problem. But she has never been in daycare and I don't think I would change that just to have her go to school without crying. As a mom I know it is natural to question how we raise our children. To constantly wonder if we are ruining our childs life. Are they going to need therapy because of me? Seriously, all I know is that I can do the best I can and leave the rest up to God. I was listening to this radio program one day and it said something like: You can do better than your parents because you can learn from their mistakes, you can do the best as you see it but then you also have to pray regularly for God to make up for your mistakes to fill in the gaps so to speak. There is NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT PARENT except for Our Father God! Don't try to be and don't claim to be but lean on Him to heal you and your child from your mistakes! I guess through my attentitiveness with Anna I haven't taught her the independance that she needs to get through this week but I know with my prayers she will make it through. I am going to hold onto that thought with both hands.

Psalm 18:30

³⁰ As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.