tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36246122.post5203282157399212253..comments2023-06-25T02:07:12.297-06:00Comments on Life Happens: Help me!Candacehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03637007952872304077noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36246122.post-3800126365946037942008-07-22T08:45:00.000-06:002008-07-22T08:45:00.000-06:00Candace, I am so sorry you are going through such ...Candace, I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time. I, too, have had hard times with my parents. They were divorced when I was about 8 and always have issues with each other. They don't realize how much that effects me as a person and my life. I'm always in the middle and feel like I constantly have to so "don't go there." It's so not fair. In turn, all of this makes our relationship strained at times. <BR/><BR/>The way I have worked through my issues is by constant prayer. There are times when I want to throw my hands up and just say I dont care and it is too much work. my older sister stephanie always reminds me that at the end of the day, when I met God, would I feel like I had done everything with the situation that i could. did i take the chance to learn the lesson in all of it that God was trying to teach me? ugh, so i go back to working at it again.<BR/><BR/>i hope it gets better and keep us updated on how it goes. you'll be in my prayers.Reynie @ Southern Girl Ramblinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11369276692574955003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36246122.post-64580514229000046262008-07-22T06:24:00.000-06:002008-07-22T06:24:00.000-06:00I was estranged from my mother for a couple of yea...I was estranged from my mother for a couple of years. We restored our relationship when we both let go of our expectations of each other. We met each other on neutral ground, and we built up a friendship based solely on who we are now. Over the years, after the wounds have healed, we've slowly started to talk about the past in very broad terms, but I don't think we'll ever actually discuss specifics.<BR/><BR/>Dear, I think you might be grieving the loss of what you imagine is the ideal situation, where everyone is happy and whole and in love with each other. You miss them, but did you ever really have it? You might be missing what was never there to begin with.<BR/><BR/>I hope you find some peace in your heart if a reconciliation isn't possible. We have to make the best of what we are given, and to be grateful for what we have, not always longing for what we don't. <BR/><BR/>Anna is very blessed with all the people in her life who love her so desperately. She will probably never feel a loss unless you tell her she's missing something.Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09802599080115527191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36246122.post-19051985347021110992008-07-21T14:02:00.000-06:002008-07-21T14:02:00.000-06:00Oh Candace, I'm sorry you've had such a difficult ...Oh Candace, I'm sorry you've had such a difficult relationship with your parents. <BR/><BR/>We had an estrangement from Big Daddy's parents and it was our parenthood that led us to approach them with reconciliation. All it really took was an invitation; I don't think they were eager to discuss the past any more than we were. Is the relationship perfect? NO. In fact, I really preferred the 8 years with no contact. But it's for my girls, it's for the in-laws, and it's for Big Daddy that I maintain the relationship.<BR/><BR/>My point? I think that the less explaining and re-hashing the better. I'd recommend approaching them with an invitation, and a simple, "Can we put the past behind us and start over? I'd love for you to know your grandchild."<BR/><BR/>You're in my prayers, and I'd love to know how things turn out!Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11688908160171158198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36246122.post-24552768411860326632008-07-21T13:56:00.000-06:002008-07-21T13:56:00.000-06:00You can only have a good or fair relationship with...You can only have a good or fair relationship with your parents and "move forward" if and only if they are willing to let go of the past also. That means NO negativity and no pointing fingers when situations come up and and anyone involved does not get their way. <BR/><BR/>In other words, you have to meet each other half way. You and your parents have to be able to respect decisions and limitations that each side will make and set. If mutual respect cannot be found, then healing cannot begin.<BR/><BR/>Also, you don't need to use Anna as the reason for doing this. I know you want to share Anna with your parents, but unless YOU are ready and want to mend fences to gain peace or happiness for YOURSELF( or whatever it is that you are looking for) - it will never work. If you and your parents can get on a common ground, Anna will decide for herself how she feels about them.<BR/><BR/>There is one thing for sure, you need to be 100% dedicated to letting go of the past before you can expect someone else to.<BR/><BR/>Keep praying about it, you will get an answer if you keep your ears and eyes open.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com